Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Beyond The Beyond...


I haven't blogged for nearly a month.
I haven't been to your blogs at all, I am so ashamed.
I once in a while visit Rachel's blog, but only when I'm free and IN THE MOOD.
What is wrong with me?

Here's the truth: I feel a bit depressed.
I didn't get the job I wanted and those people who are responsible for recruiting the department have treated me horribly. I gave the interview on the 22th of Sept. three weeks ago. Last Sunday (bloody Sunday) one of the managers of the dept. told me I wasn't successful, the reason... I didn't go 'into depth'... I am still waiting, after three weeks, for feedback from the lady who interviewed me and she avoids me. Don't know why. I phoned, emailed, threatened her and still nothing. Fed up!

Along with all that I got a bad report from one of our guest shoppers. I was abrupt and unhelpful. But (are you ready for this?) the damn thing IS NOT for me. I am NEVER abrupt, I'm always smiling, helpful and go the very extra mile for my customers. I absolutely know for whom this report came, but unfortunately, and for reasons I will never know, the description that is on the report is for me... Very strange and mysterious things, very TWILLIGHT ZONE. Beyond the f****ing beyond!

On top of everything, my finances are going from bad to worse. Still waiting for the bleeeding evaluation of my flat, so I can remortgage it. I have to wait the end of the month to get paid so I can do some groceries (HMV, iTunes, Anne Summers...joke joke joke....!)OK not that bad, but nearly there. Double dose of shit with shit relish on top...

And, above all: I MISS HIM! My Sun....
It was exactly Sept-Oct two years ago when everything was rosy and I was feeling like the Queen of the World and every day that passes reminds me of a certain event of that time. It's been over six months since I last saw him and I just want to slash my wrists...

So I pass my evenings and free time either by vegging on past series of Charmed (falling dangerously in love with Julian McMahon who plays Cole/Belthazor - and, yes he plays in Nip/Tuck as well) or going into deep sleep (with nightmares and strange dreams) or reading through tomes and tomes of Poirot cases... And I stopped my diet again and I eat f***ing junk food - again!
I am not in the mood to go online, I am not in the mood of seeing or speaking to other people, so please forgive me for being so unsociable.

I'm sure things will get better. I have to sort out my work matters, by the end of the month I'll know more about my dept.'s future and I'll take appropriate action. I will push and chase my Financial Advisor to finish the procedures for the remortgaging, so I will be swimming in money quite sooon...(ok, let's not get carried away now...) I need to see a WHO show to pick me up, so 2007 here I come!

I am thinking of a lot of you, so I just want to send those quick messages:

Molly - my Ballerina Beauty, love ya like nuts babes and hope I see you real soon.
Anne Marie - you are in my heart and can't wait to meet you again
Dale - always in my thoughts, SKI SLOPES opening soon I think????
Tausha - everytime I hear Pleasure Seeker I see your face, lots of kissy kisses
Mark and Jill - call me soon, (old mobile number) maybe I need a blinner to cheer up!
Brina - Darling DO come to Spetses next year and I'll make arrangements to be there too, to celebrate Armata and your birthday!
Sue - where in the world are you? Taiwan, USA or somewhere else, LOL I've lost track....
Kid Ric - day seven is my next read, after Appointment with Death that is...
Joe Boy - my Keith alter ego! kisses to you babes
Greek Zoe - EXOUME DYO GATIA! my mom reminds me of you, hahahaha. How's Max?
My PT FAN - to how many WHO shows you've been?
Meg - no day passes without thinking of you my darling. Always strong, always fab!
Tomoko - Japan is the plan! Get ready!!! and kisses to Kaye
Ali - my blonde super-goddess! how's the book writing? And your supa Tallulah?
Gary - the amazing songwriter of Blogland: keep on keeping on!
Delbut - my unrequitted love!!! missing how you make me laugh on the chats...
Hola Elena - miss our chats too, and don't be jealous by the above message, LOLOLOL
Last but not least: Koos - Tot ziens and hope you come to the UK v.soon! Lots of kisses to Val...

And to lots of other people who visit and comment... Thank you so much and

I'LL BE BACK!

Now, THAT cheered me up!

16 comments:

Marietta said...

Get a life!

Anne-Marie said...

Aww, honey, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about things. If I could, I'd transport you here and take you to see your boys!

I hope the outlook gets brighter very soon. In the meantime, lots of love and positive vibes are being sent your way. Hang in there, sweetheart, the sun always shines brightest after the storm.

-AM

jillytee said...

Hi babes, please don't get too down, will call you of course. Mark always says we have to have bad times in order to have good times! Glad to see you're back (well sort of)
big big hugs
jill oxoxoxoxo

Dale said...

I miss you, Marietta!

Sometimes life puts so many obstacles before that they seem insurmountable.

Last year was a rough one for me, but it seems things have eased up for the time being.
I will enjoy the time being and do my best to live it to the fullest.

Your post brought to me sadness for you and your situation, but it did see me smile when I read your sweet comments to all of us.

You remain my sweet Marietta and remember...

Our life will not dish out more than we are capable of handling.

Love and hugs
Dale

Steve H said...

Hi Marietta

So sorry to hear you've been having a crap time - things haven't exactly been a breeze for me either since the summer but at least we're still here! Greece looked fantastic from your pics. I've just booked for Corfu (again) for May and can't wait. Would love to catch up with you're planning on planning another blinner? Also, are you by any chance going to the Roundhouse to see the 'Orrib'e ooo in 2 weeks time? Would be great to try to meet up again if you are having missed you at Hyde Park.

Take it wasy and chin up - hope to hear from you soon

SteveH
x

Brina said...

Love you, dear! Life is not boring, that's for sure. I myself hit the total lowest point when my soulmate and I attempted to break up about a month ago (or was it only three weeks? or two? who knows?). I entered therapy, feeling almost suicidal at times. I leaned on friends I haven't leaned on in ages, I cried til I looked raw, I felt like my heart was being pulled out of me in little pieces.

And after that? My life changed yet again. And it's very much better now. I won't go into details here.

Yours will be too, and I send you strength and some humor and comfort too, and remind you how much your light shines. I've never "met" you and yet I really do love you, Marietta!
Your friend in Minnesota

Brina

PTfan said...

I know you'll be back.

I have another friend who is going through a similar situation. She's still swimming through it so I can't tell you the happy ending yet.

I have another friend that just rose out of the bleak waters of a depressing time. There's nothign you can say to someone when they are in there. You know. I just smile and love her and I pray. Now she is fine. She doesn't hate everyone anymore.

I have been to 3 Who shows! Philly, Boston and Detroit. I will be going to one more when they come back, Philly again. This time I will be in the first 5 rows!!!

Sweetie, you know I love you. You know we all do. We will be here when you get back. I haven't been blogging either cuz I've been so stinking busy. When I was job hunting I was so sad and discouraged that I didn't get the job I thought I wanted. But then a better job came around that I did get and it is so much better than th eone I didn't get. Marietta, I will be praying for you. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

Remember, the sun is still in the sky even when you can't see it because of the storm clouds. It will clear up Hon.

Koos F said...

Sweet Marietta

To blog or not to blog
That's NOT the question
really...

You are very dear to us anyway.

Kooxxxxx

jillytee said...

Wow Marietta you have a good memory! we all seem to have done so much since then, seeing the Boys here there and everywhere (sounds like a song, lol)
How are you getting on, are the dark clouds lifting at all? I do hope so
Talk soon
hugs xoxoxox J

Suesjoy said...

Marietta!
Aw...I've missed you very very much (especially in the chatroom - even though there aren't any anymore...).
I am SO sorry to hear about your job and mean people who royally suck. I don't understand people like that. I feel so badly Mari.
I will pray for you.
You are such a sweetheart and DO NOT DESERVE to be treated so badly.
Things will get better - be positive- but I know what it's like to be depressed...it's so hard to resurface once you get down...working out for me has done wonders as well as avoiding alcohol for the most part.
Do you have a good support system of friends there? Maybe you could take up a new hobby or get involved in a cause or something...try to surround yourself w/positive, good, loving people.
You can talk to me anytime.
I'm a good listener and I've been to hell and back...so email me whenever you want, ok?
Thanks for the message too!

Oh I'm in San Diego now...we're here until Feb or March of 2007....who knows though...not really sure!
I just live my life one day at a time lately.
Plans have a way of not coming through sometimes...so whatever!

Take care of YOU.
Lots of love,
Suexx

Meg said...

I am returning the favor and sending light and positive vibes your way. It will all work out for you, for that I am sure. I am planning to make it to England for one of the 2007 shows and this time we need to hang out and have some fun!

Thanks you for keeping me in your thoughts, I am sure that everything will work out for me too!

Meg

Gary said...

You are so beautiful Marietta, keep your chin up. Tough times don't last, tough people do. I don't blame you for wanting to chill out, stress does this.

I went through a nasty job thing in 2001 and learned a lot from it. It was a 7 month with no full time job thing, and it wasn't pleasant, but I got creative, did odds and ends and everything worked out. From what I can tell, you are very talented, very creative, and the bomb personality wise, plus you are a dedicated hard worker, I remember those posts last year during the holidays when they were running you ragged, and there is always demand for those kinds of people. Good fortune will smile on you, I just know it.

I want to thank you personally for recognizing my writing, at this time, I'm trying hard to write more and your words encourage me to try harder. Thank you for that.

kayy said...

Dear Marietta,
Cheer up!!!
Melissa & Gary have free tickets to see the Who in their recording studio. Grab them and have a great time tomorrow. Hope it's not too late.
Love Kay from NYC

kayy said...

Oops! It's already Oct. 26 in England...

Anne-Marie said...

Hi sweetheart,

I hope things are starting to turn around for you. Just remember, we all love you and want the best for you.

You will get through this- you are strong, smart and beautiful inside and out.

Love,
AM

lryicsgrl said...

Marietta,
Me, again...boy, once I get started, I just can't stop!!

Anyway, forgive me, as I am out of order here.

My friend's daughter, works at the US version of your H store. Ours is a little sooner in the alphabet....if you get me.....anyway, she helped a famous celeb one day, and the next day, the store owner (her father's dear friend) got a phone call from celeb, demanding, she be fired. Good thing for this kid, that familial ties, prevented her from being fired!! Some people take such advantage.
The funny thing is, this kid, is the child of a famous jeweler. since I have known her, she has always been hard working; she was employed as a young teen, at a local clothing store, where all the local kids shop. she was always, the most helpful and courtious sales help!

too bad, your dad's best friend, isn't the owner of H...you could have really stuck it to em!

I'm glad that you seem, cheered up!

Be Well Marietta, and tomorrow is another day! I promise!!!